22 June 2025
tw//depression
costar says: try to figure out what a healthy relationship looks like
website updates: none atm
gamedev updates: none
life updates: i went out to my parents' farm yesterday and helped plant seeds and oh my god everything hurts. on one hand it was nice to get outside yesterday but being physically disabled makes it so difficult. i wish i knew what was going on with me so i could mitigate symptoms but besides just staying in bed, nothing really helps.
ive also been in such a slump lately that i havent been playing games, working on my game, or working on this website. it feels like a struggle just to start doing something. my head is fuzzy from brain fog and from lack of sleep. every time i start something i lose motivation immediately. if im not on a call with my friends or have a video on in the background my brain is too loud. im so stressed about money and time and my career and spiraling down the drain again.
symptom log: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
get through today and tomorrow will be better... :)
16 June 2025
costar says: study as much as possible
website updates: added my status cafe to the top of the page, and im going to work on the hoard page later today
gamedev updates: none as of rn (im sorry to that one guy in my guestbook who said they were looking forward to it; im in a bit of a slump rn)
life updates: i did not doordash last week like i said i would (thanks dysautonomia) so no minior plushie pics yet.
i did get confirmation that i'll be starting my new job soon! i start on the 24th doing custodial work at a local museum. hopefully it wont make my body hate me like my last job (shudders in crumbl)
i also got to hang out with my partner's parents yesterday. they're so lovely compared to my parents.
symptom log: back hurty, slept like shit, heart rate high, bleaugh...
go be the best you can be :3c
12 June 2025
costar says: you can't love someone by pitying them
website updates: nothing as on rn, but im thinking of turning the 'shrines' page into a 'hoard' wher ei can put more graphics and pictures and all that i love (which sounds like a shrine,,,)
gamedev updates: none as of rn
life updates: my dentist appointment well! no cavities, but my wisdom teeth's roots are growing into my sinuses (??????) which is wild. i got a referral to a surgeon for them.
i also discovered that the gen 7 sitting cuties pokemon plushies are out and MINIOR IS HERE MY SON!!!! i need both versions so bad it hurts,,,, im gonna doordash tomorrow to make some money to get them (and also pay my car payment)
symptom log: not /too/ bad, my back hurts like a bitch and i think my period is gonna start soon
i hope y'all are having a good day :)
10 June 2025
website updates: i updated my sitebox today and redid a little bit of my homepage.
gamedev updates: none as of rn
life updates: i scheduled a dentist appointment for the first time in years,,, a little anxious because i have cavities due to some depressive episodes and my wisdom teeth are coming in.
yesterday i had a drug test for my new job and i hope it goes okay (i took an edible like a month ago so it /shouldn't/ show up but who knows).
symptom log: i had a piercing headache this morning which went away around noon. my neck has been killing me and my joints are jointing as per usual. POTS hasn't been so bad but i hope i don't jinx it.
9 June 2025
"finally" getting around to making the sub-pages of this site. i'm hoping that programming all of this will make me want to write more.
8 June 2025
the (main) website is done! i'm so excited to publish it and get everything all set up and pretty and really start using it. i gotta get into some webrings or something.
my friends think the website is super cool AAAAAA!! the validation is just *chefs kiss*